fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
