i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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