remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
