she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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