Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
