It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
