While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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