He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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