I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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