first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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