I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
