i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
