The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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