my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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