waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize