I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Vodka?
Forever.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
And my parents said I crawled through the house
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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