Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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