the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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