Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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