I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
