I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize