Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
How does one acquire holy water?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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