yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
