i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
