She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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