I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
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