i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
