It's Friday. Sex?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
