At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
