i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
she smelled like a LAN party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize