I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
