just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
