Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
