considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
