K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
