these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
