i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
