I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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