My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
