That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
