He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
