Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
