so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
