Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
