Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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