We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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