As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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