So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
this will be a night to untag.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
