i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
