great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
