You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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