She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My balls are so social today.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
