He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
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Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
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He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
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