That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
