When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
