I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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