Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I need to sanitize my soul.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
