Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
