I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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