they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
