what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
