hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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