girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
