i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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