So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
