Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
